Turning My Husband Into a Woman

What happens when the husband goes out of town and the wife starts tinkering with the Netflix queue? Girlie movies start getting added. There’s Sofia Coppola’s Marie Antoinette (which I really wanted to see in a theater, but whatever). Baz Luhrman’s Romeo + Juliet, which I always seemed to miss on cable. Great Expectations with Gwyneth Paltrow, because I will probably never read the book. And Mr. & Mrs. Smith, which isn’t really a chick movie but what girl wouldn’t want to look like Angelina, kick ass, and shag Brad Pitt… it’s aspirational!

Anyway my tinkerings have apparently convinced Netflix that James is some sappy fifty-year-old woman, because they are now recommending Steel Magnolias. Um, no. I know it’s supposed to be about the resiliency of women or some similar uplifting crap, but no. Although I’ve never sat through the whole thing, from the parts I’ve seen on TV there’s a lot of crying and dying, so like, NO. I rather be uplifted by girls kicking ass, thankyouverymuch. And I’m pretty sure my husband, who is most certainly NOT a fifty-year-old woman, would agree. Especially if the ass-kicking girls are babes in bikinis.

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